My son Lyor just turned 1 years old recently, so I’ve been thinking more about his future learning environments. I wanted to write a series of posts to talk about why I think alternative spaces are important for children, especially here in Taiwan. I was enrolled in several international schools in Taipei when I was younger, and the apartment building I live in has a cram school that is regularly filled with children from local schools, even during the weekends. I would love for Lyor to grow up here, but I’m a little worried about the options available to him, and I want to spend more time thinking about and working on additional spaces for children to learn and grow.
This first piece will be about the current environment of modern-day families in Taiwan. Let’s talk about the context of why I’ve been thinking about this:
Kids should get to experience their childhoods more fully;
Modern-day parents could use a lot more help.
While we see a lot of media lamenting the declining birth rates across developed nations, I think the attention is misplaced, and we should instead think about how to make more of a positive impact on children’s and parents’ lives. There are a lot of people who genuinely don’t want to have kids, a completely valid choice, and I want to focus this piece on those who do while not disrespecting those who don’t.
People who want kids end up delaying or struggling with the process because of many reasons, mostly from what I think are systematic challenges, like it drains expenses, or parents end up sacrificing their freedom / time / dreams, and even traditional gender norms play a big part because in most cultures, men are generally still expected to make the bulk of the income while women are expected to be the main caretakers. This last part is definitely felt in Taiwan.
The Taiwan government has put out a report saying that within 10 years, we’ll have the lowest birth rate in the world, but I wanted to share some other stats about families in Taiwan.
Parents and children:
As high as 41% of mothers experience postpartum depression in Taiwan,1 compared to the global average of 17%.2
Over 40% of Taiwanese mothers end up leaving their jobs to be full-time caretakers due to lack of options, and not necessarily by choice.3
By 6 months, only 38% of mothers in Taiwan continue to breastfeed4 while other developed nations average 55%,5 and global rates exceed 71%.6
93% of working mothers in Taiwan feel unable to balance family life and career, as they average 10-hour workdays and 24% report that they work more than 12 hours a day.7 Long working hours and work-family conflict have significant negative effects on individual and family satisfaction, and many parents, exhausted from work, send their kids to cram schools or rely on nannies and grandparents for childcare.8
Fathers get a maximum of 7 days paid paternity leave in Taiwan, with the government recommending to use 2 days out of the 7 for pregnancy checkups and not for actually taking care of the baby.9 Even with this minimal leave, only 25% of fathers in Taiwan take leave despite subsidies.10
The competitive education system in Taiwan places a huge burden on both parents and students; parents end up having to invest significantly in educational institutions and cram schools, while 78% of elementary students cite that their schoolwork contributes to high stress levels. At the end of 2024, Taiwanese children’s self-reported life satisfaction fell to a record low for the third straight year in a row, 7 points below the international average.11
Institutions and society:
In Taiwan, you have to be married to have a baby through IVF, and only heterosexual married couples can go through this process,12 even though we’ve legalized gay marriage.
While there are subsidies that can cover public childcare centers, the waitlist is extremely long, sometimes longer than 1 year in places like Taipei, and the subsidies for private childcare centers are not enough.
In recent years, there has been almost a 3x growth in preschool treatment, about 70% in physical harm and 20% psychological abuse.13 In 2024 alone, there was 170 cases of external abuse, and in total 2,425 cases of child abuse (mostly internally in families).14 Corporal punishment remains common with over 60% of Taiwanese parents using it as a form of discipline.
In the last 30 years, the average monthly wage in Taiwan has grown by 47%15 while Taipei housing prices have grown by almost 200%,16 making it perceivably unaffordable to start a family and build a home together.
Filial piety plays a big part in our culture, with 85% of Taiwanese elders living with family.17 While this isn’t a bad thing, and nowadays there is more support from migrant carers, many people in Taiwan don’t have enough time to think about caring for their own family if they are under a lot of other obligations as well.
I know that was a lot of stats, but when you lay it all out like this, it really gives a sobering look at the current state of family affairs in Taiwan. One of the reasons I’ve been thinking about alternative environments is because I want to give more options for kids to thrive and grow, while simultaneously helping parents find better resources and be able to take care of themselves too.
There's actually a lot that can be done in Taiwan to support families. Some ideas I have are things like easy access to quality and affordable childcare with capped fees, diversity in caretaking options that include better flexibility and protection for foreign domestic helpers, more indoor / covered public spaces for families, normalizing conversations around mental health for both parents and children, and having more kid-friendly spaces outside of academics.
There is one other idea I have that’s very radical, which is to offer 3 tiered years of paid and protected leave for all parents; this means for fathers too. By tiered I mean the first year should be 100% paid leave, the second year at up to 50% leave (and 50% at work), and the third year to slowly ramp back up to full-time work. Generous paid parental leave policies are associated with increased fertility and happiness, seen in research across the world from California (+3%)18 to Russia (+5%)19, and the effect is even more pronounced when the benefits are substantial and job protection is included.
I say 3 years because the first 3 years of a child’s life represent a period of unparalleled neurological, emotional, and social development,20 and by 3 years old, a child’s brain has reached 80% of its adult volume.21 If parents can focus their attention on the first 3 years of their child’s life, they’re setting the kids up for the chance to have a lifetime of well-being and success, and parents don’t have to do or worry so much in the future. Of course, parents should also find other fulfilling things to do during this time, but they shouldn’t have to face the pressure of traditional workplace mindsets and other societal obligations to sacrifice time away from raising their children.
I also want to highlight the need to support fathers specifically. In 1993, Norway started mandating non-transferable leave for fathers when it was at 3% paternal leave participation, and now 90% of eligible fathers take leave in Norway.22 While it didn’t fix all problems, it led to a much more equitable division of caregiving duties between the parents,23 which can affect things like improved mental health, better child development, enhanced family relationships, and a reduction in violence and health risks. I think the same needs to be done in Taiwan, which would not only be better for the children and the fathers, but also gives a lot more necessary support for mothers.
I understand this is extremely complex to execute because there has to be some checks and balances, and it upsets bosses, corporations (that have lobbying power), and social norms, but I truly believe this would make a huge, long-term difference for Taiwanese families and kids. In my opinion, this would be the best investment into our collective future, and I’m just bringing this up as a way to start what I think are necessary discussions (although it would be amazing if things did start changing!)
There's this common saying that “it takes a village” to raise a family, but actually most of us don't live in villages, and many people don’t have the ability to live like villagers. Instead of just relying on the community, I think there is concrete, institutional support that parents should be getting in order to raise healthy children and not have to sacrifice every part of their lives to do so.
I also acknowledge there are plenty of people who don't want kids, and I think we should stop lambasting those who don’t, while simultaneously helping those who do. I think this kind of focus will really help society overall.
Thanks for reading this one, and on this Google form, please leave a message if anything resonated, or an anonymous comment if you didn’t agree with something I said.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0266613819302918
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01663-6
https://www.cedaw.org.tw/en/en-global/news/detail/184
https://www.gavinpublishers.com/article/view/does-telephone-counselling-promote-breast-feeding-duration-in-taiwan
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8376656/
https://www.unicef.org/media/150586/file/Global%20breastfeeding%20scorecard%202023.pdf
https://english.mol.gov.tw/21139/40790/48907/
https://law.moj.gov.tw/ENG/LawClass/LawAll.aspx?pcode=L0070024
https://en.rti.org.tw/news/view/id/2012915
https://focustaiwan.tw/society/202504150023
https://tradingeconomics.com/taiwan/wages
https://www.taipeitimes.com/News/biz/archives/2015/06/14/2003620627
https://www.children.org.tw/english/news_detail/2024_Child_Wellbeing_Survey
https://wilj.law.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/1270/2020/07/37.1_1-43_Chang.pdf
https://hr.asia/asia-2/fatigue-among-taiwans-working-mothers-hits-a-four-year-high/
https://www.academia.edu/54997652/The_influence_of_employees_parents_on_work_life_balance_in_Taiwan
https://www3.nccu.edu.tw/~iaezcpc/publications/E_publications/Journals/Chou,%20C.%20P.,%20Yuan,%20James%20K.%20S.(2011)_Buxiban%20in%20Taiwan.pdf
https://www.pamelameyerhofer.com/files/PFL_Fertility_Golightly_Meyerhofer_v16.pdf
https://www.sole-jole.org/assets/docs/14412.pdf
https://www.rwjf.org/en/insights/our-research/2018/04/social-emotional-development-in-the-first-three-years.html
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/key-concept/brain-architecture/
https://vid.brage.unit.no/vid-xmlui/bitstream/handle/11250/2676719/MGS-320%20Vilja%20Olsen%20Mundheim.pdf?sequence=1
https://globalpeoplestrategist.com/scandinavian-parental-leave-laws/
Definitely resonates. We are planning on living in Taiwan with our daughter (she is 2) especially when we have a 2nd kid but really don’t want to participate in the non-stop pressure to always be doing school (my wife grew up in it too)
We are exploring living on the east coast and homeschooling and also just potentially living in chiang mai where everything is far more relaxed.
Yeah there's def a lot of pressure here. East coast is great bc of the air and water quality, also quality of life, and some good schooling options outside the intensive academic rigor.
I don't know much about Chiang Mai but trust your gut and anyway you can always make adjustments as you learn~
I'm working with a team to open a micro school in Taipei next year bc we really feel there needs to be more options for families here. I also am working on a rec center for kids in Yilan. Hopefully we can have more diverse options for families in the future!